Work Depression

Work Depression: A Barrier in Job Hunting and Employment

Understanding Work Depression

Work depression is a term that can resonate deeply with those struggling to find employment. Being out of work can deliver a giant dose of work depression, robbing you of the energy to keep going, which is why many people give up, often too soon. However, work depression is not limited to being out of work. It can also be triggered by a toxic work environment, a bad relationship with your boss, unpleasant colleagues, not getting recognition, having an unreasonable workload that never lets up, or being in a career that is wrong for you.

Rising Mental Health Issues in the Workplace

Mental health issues continue to climb in the workplace. Some research indicates this may be the biggest challenge for organisations in the years ahead. Rodney Lowman, in his book The Clinical Practice of Career Assessment, says: “We have vastly underestimated the subtly disguised physical and mental issues associated with career concerns.”

Distinguishing Feelings of Depression from Clinical Depression

It is important to distinguish feelings of depression from clinical depression. Rabbi/Psychiatrist Abraham Twerski helpfully separates depression as a descriptive term from what he calls “a depression” due to a chemical imbalance. Treating a clinical depression with therapy, he says, is like trying to tune a TV when it’s not plugged in. Trying to solve a work problem when you are clinically depressed is a losing battle.

Medication and Career Problems

At the same time, expecting medication alone to solve a career problem is also side-stepping the issue. If you are out of work or in a career that robs your soul, medication can’t fix the problem without your help. The line between feelings of depression and a clinical condition is a delicate one. As the movie title suggests, “It’s complicated,” so getting some professional help to make sense of it is a good idea.

Common Work Concerns Impacting Mental Wellbeing

Here are some common work concerns that may be chipping away at your mental wellbeing:

• You’ve lost your job and have no idea what to do next.
• You are out of work despite your best efforts at job hunting.
• Your business is falling apart, and you see no light at the end of the tunnel.
• You are under constant financial pressure and don’t see a way out.
• You have a crazy workload that never lets up.
• You have a gruelling travel schedule that is affecting your health and your relationships.
• Your job requires you to always be available and responsive, whether on mobile or email.
• You feel like you are wasting your time and not going anywhere in your career and/or your life.
• You work in a toxic environment fraught with politics, negativity, and gossip.
• You feel unappreciated and disconnected from the people around you.
• You have a bad relationship with your boss.
• You are exhausted by constant change and increasing levels of uncertainty at work.
• You are feeling stuck in your career and have no idea how to get out of it.
• You are dealing with personal grief or a tough personal life, affecting your ability to concentrate or perform in your job.
• You have no career or personal goals that matter to you.
• You constantly meet other people’s needs at the expense of your own.
• You are disorganised, going round in circles, unable to get a handle on yourself.
• You are bored with your job and your life; nothing gets you out of bed in the morning.
• You are at a crossroads in your life and unsure what to do next.
• You are simply exhausted and need a break.

Become an Active Partner in Your Healing

To beat depression in all of its forms, I believe we must become active partners in our healing, regardless of any help we may be getting from the organisation, a coach, or a medical professional. These issues are not easily fixed with a traditional wellness programme or a weekend away; they demand real solutions. Many programmes can leave you feeling you are the problem, which may be far from the truth while poor leadership and a crazy workload continue unabated.

I have also seen many clients who are depressed and hopeless, waiting only for their next therapy session before they take any action. “I’ll start when I feel better,” they say. Of course, you want to feel better—we all do—but very often, feeling better starts with doing something differently, often something really small. The famous psychologist Albert Ellis, who developed cognitive behaviour therapy, said: “The trouble with most therapy is that it helps you feel better. But you don’t get better. You have to back it up with action, action, action.”

My friend Wimpie has a famous line when things are not going well in his business: “Raak besig!” he will say. (Translated: “Get busy!”) That’s often the best advice in town. This doesn’t mean you have to fill your day with unrelenting activity or take on things you simply don’t have the stamina to do. But you do need to take action and work with those things you have control over, one step, one day at a time.

Take Control of What You Can

I have fought depression during my life, and it’s not a great place to be. Everything is an effort, and even very ordinary tasks can seem overwhelming. Trite advice like “count your blessings” is not helpful—indeed, it’s downright irritating. However, I believe we have to be part of our own healing, along with any treatment or support we may be getting.

Clients and friends have asked if there is nothing else they can do, and indeed there is. Here are 25 very ordinary things I have learned and have seen help many people I have worked with. I am not a doctor or a therapist, so this is not a substitute for getting professional help if you need it.

None of these are silver bullets, and you don’t have to do them all. But they will help you become an active partner in taking control of your life as you set about fixing the problem. I suggest you select five that seem most helpful to you, then add others along the way if you like.

1. See a Doctor: Ensure you are not suffering from a clinical problem that needs treatment if you haven’t already. But expecting your doctor to give you career advice is not fair; many professionals can help you with that.
2. Prioritize Sleep: Sleep is your superpower—don’t mess with it. Get as regular a sleeping pattern as you can. Avoid late nights, movies till 2 am, irregular bedtimes, and looking at your phone when you should be sleeping. Depression can seriously mess with your sleep, so this may not be easy. Work on it one day at a time and make afternoon naps a part of your routine—they have huge benefits.
3. Get Up and Get Outside: When you wake up, get up and go outside. Lying in bed thinking and ruminating increases anxiety, and it gets harder to get up with every passing minute. If you have difficulty getting out of bed, use Mel Robbins’ “counting back from five” method. Start at 5, not at 1, and swing your legs out when you get to zero.
4. Limit Screen Time: Avoid screen time for the first two hours of the day and at least an hour before bedtime. Limit your time on social media and the internet, as they have been shown to increase depression. A psychiatrist on a recent webinar reported that she now asks patients for their mobile to check their screen time—this is now a health issue.
5. Create a Morning Routine: Follow a basic morning routine every day, even when you don’t feel like it. Shower, do your basic grooming, get dressed, look good, and smell good—wear real shoes, not socks or slippers. If you don’t manage well one day, chill and do better the next day.
6. Manage Your Physical Environment: In the morning, open the curtains wide, make your bed, and put your clothes in the wash basket. A messy and unmanaged physical environment can mirror the chaos in your head and leave you feeling out of control.
7. Eat Nourishing Breakfasts: Lay the table so it’s inviting, rather than eating last night’s pizza out of the box. Get advice on foods that are good for your energy; sugar may be good in a crisis, but it lets you down soon afterward.
8. Use Time Blocking: If you need to get work done, use time blocking. Only do one hour’s work at a time before taking at least a ten-minute break in natural light. A few focused chunks of work can be more productive than slaving for hours with a flat battery. Avoid constantly checking your mobile when you should be working.
9. Drink More Water: Before dismissing this, read “You’re Not Sick, You’re Thirsty” by F. Batmanghelidj MD, who suggests that persistent dehydration causes many common Western illnesses. You don’t need a giant jug of water staring ominously at you—just have a glass of water before other drinks or meals.
10. Be Kind to Yourself: Expect days that don’t work, where you seem to be back where you started. You are not back where you started—you have new insights and new progress. Up and down is how it works, until you realize your average is going up.
11. Get Some Exercise: You don’t have to join a gym; a short walk is a great way to start and end the day. There are even great apps where you can exercise in a chair, but getting out of the house is first prize.
12. Make a Gratefulness List: Dr. Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology who struggled with depression himself, says that writing down three good things that happened each day will increase your mental wellbeing.
13. Consider a Journal: You don’t need a leather-bound journal; a standard counter book from the supermarket works just fine. You don’t have to like writing or write well. Just jot down the date, your thoughts, ideas, feelings, and even drawings. It’s a better use of time if you are lying awake at night than reaching for your phone.
14. Make a To-Do List: Making a to-do list is common among people who get things done. Create a list each day of what needs doing. The point is not to tick off everything but to set a few priorities for the day.
15. Connect with People: Avoid becoming a recluse. Connect with people you like, and start by finding out how they are. Many people are struggling more than we realize; maybe they need your help today more than you need theirs. Avoid the negative types who only have bad news and advice they don’t follow themselves.
16. Talk to Someone Who Can Help: It might be a professional, but just as often, a conversation with a good friend can do wonders. Be careful not to alienate the people closest to you who care and are willing to help.
17. List Your Achievements: Consider making a list of at least 100 things you have achieved in your life. It’s easy when you’re down to believe you are worth nothing and have achieved nothing. You can build your list over days or even weeks.
18. Join Activities: Consider joining activities like a walking group, sports club, or book club. You don’t have to fill your diary, but one or two activities with people can do more for you than many hours alone.
19. Learn Something New: Consider learning something new, like a craft, playing the piano, gardening, or art. Dedicate an hour a day to it. You don’t have to exhibit your art or become a concert pianist—learning something new is more energizing than scrolling on your phone.
20. Help Others: They say an eye that only looks inward is sick, so focusing on other people’s needs is helpful when we feel low. Reach out to someone who may need a chat or practical help. If you are self-employed, offer to do some follow-up work for a client at no cost—you never know where that might lead.
21. Start Reading Again: Explore online bookstores and see what’s out there. Include novels, but also look for books that inspire and inform your journey. Dolly Parton said, “If you can read, you can learn anything.”
22. Take Baby Steps: Take small steps on anything that might lead to new opportunities or projects, rather than waiting until you are ready to do it all. Make one call, research one piece of information, visit one place, or have one conversation.
23. Enjoy Music: Music can lift your spirits uniquely. Hans Christian Anderson said, “When words fail, music speaks.” Turn up the music in your car and take a drive if you can, and take some great pictures along the way.
24. Allow Time for Grieving: Personal loss, debilitating illness, or difficult life circumstances can seriously affect you. Coming to terms with these major life events is not quick; grieving is a real and necessary part of life. It may take at least 18 months to come to terms with these events. Grieving is not a mental illness; it means you are human.
25. Seek Professional Help: If any of the work concerns I have listed, or others, are affecting your mental health, you will find many career coaches or counsellors. Simply search “careers” on Instagram or Google. Access other blogs on this site or join self-help conversations and YouTube links.

Caution: Be careful of making impulsive decisions when you are not okay. You don’t have to fix everything overnight. Resigning in a huff without a plan may not be your best move. Take it one day at a time.

Give Up the Blame-Game

The blame-game is a dangerous game to play when fighting depression because we give away our power to do anything about it.

We must give up blaming our work life for everything. We may just as easily have a clinical problem, be dealing with loss, facing a personal crisis, mismanaging our time and energy, spending too much time with the wrong people, or simply battling loneliness.

We must give up blaming our family. It may be time to start setting some boundaries, taking some time out, or doing things that are important for you. If you think your relationship will fall apart if you disappear for a few days, it probably already has. And if your partner can’t cook a meal without you, unless they are on life support, they can surely put something together. YouTube can help you make almost anything.

We must give up blaming ourselves for the choices we’ve made in the past. There may be many things you wished you’d done differently. Start by being kind to yourself. Accept that whatever choices you’ve made till now were probably made with the best intentions you knew at the time. And even if your primary goal was self-destruction, you’ve still survived to tell the tale and start again.

We must give up blaming other people for not supporting us, for not getting us up in the morning, for not motivating us, and for not pushing us all the way. This is your life, not theirs. Even the cheapest phone has an alarm clock. And no one can motivate us if we are not willing to do the work. Others can encourage, guide, and support us, but motivation is an inside job. Give up waiting for someone else to change or change you; rather, get busy changing yourself.

Depression Can Be a Messenger

I believe depression can be a messenger, a wake-up call if you like, and it can serve us well if we befriend and manage it rather than ignore or wish it away. It warns us when we are burning out, making decisions that are not good for us, and ignoring things that are stealing energy from us. They say a certain darkness is needed to see the stars, and sometimes that is true.

With a strong genetic predisposition to depression, I have had to manage it actively during my life. Yet when I look at difficult times for me, they really did help me redirect my life in many ways. Many times I was simply exhausted, a gruelling travel schedule with back-to-back demanding projects. Or my strong introversion was kicking and screaming for some space alone, yet I chose to keep going. I was running on fumes, as they say, and the messenger was begging me to slow down, to re-evaluate what I was doing, to hear my soul say ‘this way, not that…’

My son Sam and I were talking about this on the way to school one day. I was saying that sometimes depression can be a gift.

“Pretty lousy gift!” he said.

“Well,” I continued, “sometimes it’s an illness that must be fixed, but other times it’s a signal that something is not OK for you, you are straying too far from your mission, or it’s time to take action. You still have to treat the illness, but you don’t want to miss the message.”

“In other words Dad, what you are saying is, ‘Don’t kill the messenger!’” I couldn’t have said it better.

If the messenger is on time for you, I wish you the courage to make some new choices and take action.

As you do, be kind to yourself, and remember you don’t have to fix it all at once; just one day at a time.

© Andrew Bramley, Jan 2023.